Masks

Mask… A mask is used to hide our true face or identity. It covers up our whole face; our expressions, emotions, feelings. We want to wear masks when we find ourselves weak, scared or when we want to portray a different identity which is merely different from who we really are. We wear masks to be a better person base on or own perception. Sometimes we find it easier for us to face life wearing masks because we can be a different person in a snap. If we’re scared, we can just be a brave person in an instant. If we’re sad, we can look very happy in a snap of our two fingers. Then what’s more better than wearing a mask?! Honestly speaking, I’m a person expert in wearing masks. No one have doubts on my feelings. Even my friends, my family, and other people who surrounds me never have a hint on how I really feel. It really has so many benefits. Look at me now; I got so many friends who likes me so much. They adore my personality. I am drowned with praises by my mentors, friends, family, and relatives. What could I wish for? Are they satisfied from who I am? Extremely! Do they love me? Superb! Are they happy for me? Definitely! Am I happy? Am I really happy? That’s the big question. Yes, I’m happy for they are happy for me. But am I happy for myself? Now, I found myself different, very different. I don’t even know who I am really. I don’t even know when to be sad or to be happy. I don’t know when to smile or to frown. As if there is something jailed inside me. It’s like a monster who wants to go out and be free. Where is the real me?! It’s like waking up, facing the mirror without any face at all. It is strange right? But that is how I really feel. It’s just like I’m very tired and I want to sleep at night naked; without any piece of cloth and armlets. It’s like I want to release something from within. I want to expose my face to the sun. But I can’t! They will not recognize me. They’ll treat me like a stranger. They will love me no more. They might disown me! The reality is that the masks consumed everything from me; my family, my friends, my real capabilities, my talents, and most of all, the real me. Now I’m just a beautiful cage with a monster inside; a pitiful monster who deserves to live freely and has the right to abide everything. It’s a monster who should be living life accepted for who it is. I’m regretting wearing this mask! Did anyone force me? No, I voluntarily wear this mask for I love my family and friends. Is it really?! Nope, I wear these masks because I love myself. I selfishly love myself too much, that I want them to see that I’m a perfect one. I can’t blame anyone for this big mistake. The only one to be blame is no one else but me. I’m old enough and I should be the one responsible for myself. Maybe that’s it, I was benefited by the masks and now I should suffer all the consequences that it brings. Forever, I’ll be wearing these masks and I’ll die at the surface of the earth without anyone knowing who really I am and how I really lived.